For Want of a Blonde
by fringeperson
Summary: D has the purrfect animal to help his cousin Vincent get that pesky blonde right where he wants him - in his bed. Yaoi. D/Leon implied, Cid/Vincent/Sephiroth, though who's on top...? oneshot, complete, don't own, birthday fic for animama on dA and LJ.


Vincent slowly became aware of the world of the living once more, and it was a generally surprising process in two very different ways. On one hand, he was warm, comfortable, and being snuggled from two different sides. Having not yet opened his eyes, Vincent decided he'd get to figuring out, or remembering, who he was being snuggled by in a moment – particularly since, on the _other_ hand, his back ached, his muscles burned (albeit in that pleasant sort of way that means they'd been worked well recently) and his a stung in a slightly _less_ pleasant way. So he was comfortably in pain and being snuggled, no doubt by the same people who had gotten him into this state.

Then the events of the previous day returned to him.

~oOo~

He'd been sharing tea and cake with his cousin, several times removed, in the man's pet shop. Ever since the experiments, he had gotten along with this particular relation a great deal better. It might have had something to do with D thinking that Galien Beast was just the cutest, or it might have been that Vincent was no longer strictly human himself any more and D was somewhat prejudiced against humans as a species, even if just slightly. Not that anybody could easily tell from the man's manners, which were always excellent, or from the way he was always indulging that detective.

Or indulging _in_ that detective as the case may be, no pun intended.

"Perhaps it is just something about our family that draws mildly coarse blonde men to us," D offered. "I have the detective, you have that pilot."

Vincent hummed in tentative agreement. They weren't the first ones in their families to have this happen either, though generally those relationships had been kept _much_ quieter. Then again, they were only just now in a time when homosexuality was becoming socially acceptable.

"Except that I don't really," Vincent admitted at length.  
"Don't what?" D asked politely.

"I don't have 'that pilot', as you call him," Vincent clarified. "He flirts, then runs away before I can answer him."

"Shy, despite his bluster," D commiserated with an understanding nod, even as he reached for another piece of cake.

"I don't know what to do," Vincent complained with a sigh. "Do I get him drunk? Do I try and make him jealous? Do I just walk up to him and kiss him then drag him off to a hotel room?"

D chuckled. "Why not all three?" he suggested. "I have just the animal in my collection to help with the 'jealous' part, though you must remember to include him in your interlude with the pilot."

Vincents ruby eyes went wide. "You didn't!" he gasped in awe.

D smiled a proud, satisfied smirk of a smile. "I did," he answered.

"You have a _sex kitten_ in your shop?" Vincent asked. "They're so _rare_!"

D nodded, then gave a slightly forlorn sigh. "A silver male, and as you know they're very dedicated, so you wouldn't have to worry about anything happening to your pilot."

Vincent snorted in amusement. "Pushy more like," he corrected, then sighed. "Well, I'll _look_ at this wonder you've somehow found, though I'm curious as to why you'd give him to me rather than keep him for yourself."

D actually blushed. "The detective doesn't like sharing," he answered. "Not even the view, though I suppose I am not much better. The trouble is that his apartment as very thin walls, and I live over the shop..." D trailed off.

Vincent smiled as he suddenly understood his cousin's problem perfectly. After all, even D had to abide by the rules of the animals that he kept just as much as the customers he sold them to. "Well, I'm sure I can convince Cid to be a bit more liberal," he said, pushing himself out of the chair. "Of course, that depends on me _getting_ the man first, and the animal too of course."

D nodded. "Of course."

The sex kitten, even without the influence of the incense of D's shop or their family's carefully nurtured ability to see the person in the animal, looked to be a six-foot-tall man with flawless peaches-and-cream skin and a fall of silver hair that went all the way down to his hips. His eyes were bright green and, of course, had the characteristic slit pupils of all domesticated cats. D had given the kitten a pair of black leather trousers to wear, as well as a black leather coat that didn't actually do a thing to hide that perfect chest, and out the back slit of which emerged a tail that was the same silver as that fall of hair. The tail was flicking back and forth while long-fingered hands and bare feet twitch and nostrils flared as the two men entered the room.

"He's beautiful," Vincent complimented.

D nodded. "He has fangs in that pretty mouth of his though, so be careful of that," he warned.

Vincent chuckled, flashing his own fangs in answer to the concern. "You're talking as though I've already agreed to take him," he commented.

"Are you saying that you will not?" D asked, arching one delicate eyebrow, though there was a hint of worry in his mismatched eyes. Clearly, D was missing his detective more than he let on.

Vincent shook his head. "I will," he countered. "You were just jumping the gun a little there." That said, Vincent walked up to the beautiful animal that was sprawled so sexily across the day-bed that D had given it. "Will you help me get my blonde?" he asked, reaching out a leather-gloved hand to stroke that lovely cheek.

Silently, those green eyes looked Vincent up and down before they became hooded and the sex kitten nuzzled into Vincent's hand.

D and Vincent both smiled.

"You remember the rules for keeping a male sex kitten?" D asked. "It has been a long time since you had to know such things after all."

Vincent snorted. "It's not exactly hard to remember," he countered before quoting the rule D spoke of. "The sex kitten will be kept in a house, not an apartment or hotel, and if there is to be sex in the house, then the sex kitten _will_ find a way to participate, and is not to be denied. The second rule is why there is the first."

D nodded. It was these same rules that had D actually eager to pass on the responsibility of this particular rare animal. "This particular sex kitten is also very sensitive to comments about female parents," he advised quietly. "Do not speak of them if you can help it, and if your pilot says something to upset the sex kitten, I advise sex as soon as possible."

Vincent's smirk mirrored D's in that moment. They were _definitely_ related, however different their personal preference regarding fashion statements were.

"What will you name your new pet?" D asked, changing the subject politely. "He hasn't one and I've not given him a name yet."

Vincent looked back at the sex kitten, which was still nuzzling his leather-covered palm. "Sephiroth, I think," Vincent decided, and nodded to himself. "Yes, that suits him."

That was that, and Vincent had bid his relative good day and taken his new pet out to find Cid and try to convince the pilot to join them in the sorts of activities that sex kittens were born for.

Sephiroth draped himself over Vincent's shoulders, wrapping arms around around the gunner's waist and grinding against his backside every time they stopped walking. They stopped walking twice – once to get a bottle of whiskey off the shelf at the liquor store, and once at the checkout to pay for it. After that, they didn't stop again until they reached Cid's house.

Cid was underneath his plane, tinkering as usual, but rolled himself out when Vincent nudged his own booted foot against one of Cid's.

"Vin!" Cid greeted enthusiastically when he saw the raven-haired and pale-skinned gunner. His smile dropped a bit and visibly became just a bit more forced when he noticed Sephiroth. "Who's your friend?" he asked politely, though something in the back of his eyes shuttered itself away.

"This is Sephiroth," Vincent answered. "We came to see if you'd like to join us for a drink," he offered, holding up the bottle of whiskey.

"Yeah," Cid agreed, his blue eyes moving from Vincent, who was still smiling at him, to Sephiroth, who was still plastered to Vincent but also eyeing Cid like a hungry predator eyes a potential meal, or a slab of meat. "I think I could do with a drink right about now."

Vincent and Sephiroth watched as Cid downed most of the whiskey by himself. Sephiroth had lapped at his saucer of whiskey and then stopped, not liking the taste apparently. Vincent took small sips, but got through three small glasses of the drink before Cid had swallowed the rest.

"I missed my chance with ya, didn't I Vince?" the now drunk Cid asked sadly as he set the empty bottle down and looked from Vincent to Sephiroth.

Vincent and Sephiroth both smiled, and the former pulled the pilot into a kiss that was lips and teeth and tongue, and then Sephiroth joined in the kiss as well, which was a little awkward at first, but then the tongues figured out what they were doing and it was _perfect_.

~oOo~

Vincent smiled to himself as the rest of the events of the evening that followed that wonderful three-way kiss came back to him. He really owed D a nice cake or two next time he went to visit his cousin in the pet shop. Maybe he'd take some chocolate sauce for him to spread over that detective of his next time he felt like indulging. Actually, that wasn't a bad idea. Chocolate sauce on blonde, perhaps with whipped cream as well... Vincent was sure that Sephiroth wouldn't have any aversion to helping him lick their other bed-mate clean. No doubt Cid would enjoy it as well, he'd certainly taken it well when Sephiroth started using his tail during the third round last night.

With a smile on his face, Vincent pulled his snuggling bedmates closer, stopped thinking, and went back to sleep. In a couple of hours he'd wake up again, and they could start the day the same way they had finished the previous one if he was lucky.

And judging by the way things had gone yesterday, Vincent was thinking optimistically regarding his luck right now.

~The End~

~Happy Birthday Animama!~


End file.
